Monday, August 26, 2013

Begin. Now.

In The Wisdom of No Escape and the Path of Loving-Kindness, Buddhist nun, Pema Chodron, tells us to, "Come as you are."  Often, I resist stepping out of my comfort unless I can be sure I have it right, until I can be confident that I'll be a master at whatever new endeavor I am attempting.  But what I've learned in recovery is to just show up, to start wherever I am at that moment.  The magic is in the moment, and in that moment, I can choose to be fully alive and present.  Fear holds me back from experiencing all that this life has to offer.  Fear of failure.  Fear of imperfection.  Fear that you won't like me if you find out how truly inept I am.  Nowhere has that fear had a bigger hold on me than in my personal relationships.  I never knew how to make friends.  I was so sure you weren't going to like me that I went out of my way to make sure you didn't. Once I became willing to remove the chip on my shoulder, and practice being friendly, I gained a boatload of friends.  If I hadn't been willing to bring my imperfect, often socially immature self to the table, I would have missed out completely on experiencing the fellowship of the spirit.  If I'm waiting, busily preparing my mind, my body, and my skill set, then those golden opportunities to be present in the world as the imperfect person I am, pass by.  Last year, a good friend of mine helped me develop my Facebook pages.  In the process, he noticed my reluctance to commit to various suggested action steps. Speaking from experience, he encouraged me to "Just do it. Do something. You can always change it." In essence, he was telling me to just "Come as you are."  Start somewhere.  Take this blog, for example.  I don't understand all the nuances of blogging, but the point is, today, I am willing to come to the page just as I am. Today, it's not about being perfect, it's about being present.  

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