Change the Voices In Your Head: Make Them Like You Instead

imposter syndrome (noun):

the persistent inability to believe that one's success is deserved or has been 

legitimately achieved as a result of one's own efforts or skills

According to an article in Healthline Media, "Imposter syndrome, also called perceived fraudulence, involves feelings of self-doubt and personal incompetence that persist despite your education, experience, and accomplishments." 

I am familiar with the manifestations of this soul-crushing trait. 

Back in the mid-1990s, I wrote a monthly column for a national trade magazine, my first book of informational non-fiction was about to be published, and I owned and operated a company that wrote marketing plans for small businesses. I had every right to call myself a writer, yet, I had gotten it into my head that I wouldn't be a real writer until I could write fiction. On top of that delusion, I also believed I needed a post-graduate degree, so in 1995, I embarked on a two-year low residency master of fine arts degree, where for my final thesis, I wrote Underbelly: A Collection of Short Stories. 

Upon graduation, I went on to publish my poems and short stories and enjoyed the success of my second book of informational non-fiction. In hindsight, did I need that MFA? Probably not, but while in the throes of imposter syndrome, I used it to quiet the voices in my head and to create legitimacy for myself. 

Fast forward to 2012. Without premeditation, without practice, without a degree in photography, I became a contemplative photographer. (Remember, my MFA was in creative writing, not photography.) In a moment of divine inspiration, I was inspired to create Earth's School of Love, an inspirational greeting card company making use of some of the photographs I'd begun taking with my digital Sony. A Facebook group grew to over 13,000 global followers as folks signed on to read and view my work. It never occurred to me to pursue an advanced degree in photography.

So what changed in those fifteen years? Certainly the wisdom of age, and I also stopped worrying about what other people would think. I stopped defining my talent in terms of framed certificates. Today, I am an urbex photographer who chases opportunities to photograph abandoned churches, schools, hospitals, buildings and junkyards. I learn from other photographers; I practice consistency: I take creative chances. I have a solo show coming up at a respected gallery in November, but every now and then, that imposter syndrome kicks in. Then I have to remember, I'm not a photographer because of the camera I own, or the number of lenses in my camera bag, or the certificate on the wall. I'm a photographer because of the way I choose to see and interact with the world. 

Who might you become, what latent talents might surface, if you shrug off your self-imposed doubts,  perceived fraudulence, and just go do what you love? What if you change the voices in your head? Make them like you instead.

Here's a great article on this subject: https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/imposter-syndrome