Monday, September 2, 2013

Promises.


Less than a month ago, I made a long-overdue amend to my only sibling, my younger brother.  At the end of my heartfelt regret for being absent for the majority of his 31-year marriage to the same good woman, the birth, raising, and coming of age of my only nephew, I asked my brother if he had anything he wanted to say to me. Tearfully, he supplied a few of the missing puzzle pieces. He told me how much I'd hurt him when, at 17 years old, I bolted from that dysfunctional, family-of-four as soon as my college acceptance letter drifted in. Truth be told, I hadn't thought twice about my brother's welfare back then. It never occurred to me that my brother (and certainly my mother) needed rescuing from my abusive, alcoholic father. All I knew was that I had to save myself. Ironically, I followed in my father's alcoholic footsteps, and only these many years later, blessedly deep into my own recovery, can I finally be present for my brother and my mother. So, I sit here today, in a hospital room in Connecticut, on a chair next to my brother, lovingly standing vigil over my 88-year-old mother, our mother, as she recovers, God willing, from heart failure. I promised my brother a month ago that I'd never leave him again. And today, thanks to a program of recovery, I keep my promises.

2 comments:

  1. This confession extends beyond your wildest dreams, Carol. I, too can now rejoice in your "coming home" to our family. For many years, you were viewed as the superior and self-absorbed one. Not anymore. You are again my cousin Carol, my family...and I love you. Stay the course. -Dennis

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    Replies
    1. Thank you, Dennis. I missed so much all those years including forming a meaningful relationship with you. Never say never <3

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