Go Out on a Limb

There seems to be much talk these days of courage, specifically the kind of courage that it takes for me, a 67-year-old woman from New England, to up and leave home whenever the spirit moves me, for a day, a weekend or longer, taking pictures, selling work, meeting new people. What does courage mean to me, and how do I manage courage, because certainly the flip side of courage, for me, is fear. How do I practice fearlessness in the world?

For a young girl growing up in Bristol, Connecticut in the 1960s, fear commanded my life. I had great difficulty even going to the market. This fear of walking into places followed me for some time into womanhood. (The early manifestations of agoraphobia, perhaps?) Today, I can walk into rooms (virtually and otherwise), buildings, new communities, and smile, introduce myself with confidence, and extend a hand. Is that courage?

Traveling down interstate 95 south last weekend on my way to Ellis Island, with speeds of 75 miles per hour, with tractor trailers all around me, and having to pass. Is that courage?

Welcoming strangers from around the world into my home every summer as I play Airbnb superhost. Is that courage?

Learning to navigate and grow a following on a new platform like Heygo or Substack. Is that courage?

The answer to all of those questions is yes. And the only way I learned to be courageous was to practice fearlessness in all aspects of my life daily. When I learned to lead with love, courage grew exponentially.

Wherever you are today, go out on a limb, onto the limb that is your life. You don't need to travel across the country to practice fearlessness. Practice it right where you are. Do one thing today that scares you, and then do it again tomorrow.

When you lead with love, fear vanishes.

Love, 
Carol 

Wish to join me on my adventures? Now you can. Subscribe to my channel on Heygo and follow me at: https://www.heygo.com/the-footloose-muse

Know anyone that would benefit from our community of like-minded female creatives?  Invite them to join the Footloose Muse Facebook group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/thefootloosemuse

Adventure is a Worthwhile Pursuit

"I don’t want to not live because of my fear
of what could happen.”
~Laird Hamilton

When you hear the word, adventure, what images come to mind? Hang gliding? Floating above the ground in a hot air balloon? White water rafting? Driving cross country in a vintage van? You needn't be Evel Knievel to live an adventurous life. For me, hopping in my car and venturing to an abandoned building photo shoot always gets my heart pumping, and just imagining air travel activates the wanderlust in me. How about you? I bet you can draw up a whole list of worthwhile pursuits. Now tell me: what's stopping you? Are you waiting for a companion? Retirement? A bigger bank account?

In the fall of 2014 when I could no longer ignore the pull to drive cross country, I knew I'd be going solo. I had a vast network of social media friends who anticipated my adventures, but along thousands of interstate miles, I was indeed alone. I also did it on a shoestring, staying at inexpensive Airbnbs along the way. Had I let fear stop me in tracks, had I doted over loneliness, over my budget, I would have denied myself a life-changing experience. To this day, when adventure calls, I don't look around to see who else might be available, I simply go!

Your turn.  

Love, 
Carol 

Wish to join me on my adventures? Now you can. Subscribe to my channel on Heygo and follow me at: https://www.heygo.com/the-footloose-muse

Know anyone that would benefit from our community of like-minded female creatives?  Invite them to join the Footloose Muse Facebook group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/thefootloosemuse

Stuck?

 

"You can make excuses, or you can make yourself proud. 

You can make excuses, or you can make progress. 

You can make excuses, or you can make art."  ~Alexandra Franzen

As a creative midwife, I help women of all ages give birth to their creative ideas and dreams. I can always tell when a blog post hits home, strikes a cord, activates a nerve ending, because I'll receive emails responses heaped with excuses, explaining all the reasons why my suggestions are impossible to implement. The pushback is ego's gasp at remaining in control. The stories we tell ourselves keep us stuck. The excuses stand in the way of living a wildly creative life.

Our self-limiting beliefs hang us up all the time, and unless checked, unless challenged, these mind-numbing thoughts will keep us hamstrung to an unfulfilled life.  

Have you painted yourself into a box, into a corner? It takes enormous courage and self-awareness to pick up the pen, paper, camera, brush, music, road map. We are programmed from an early age to seek out safety, to seek out acceptance from our tribe, our family of origin. Buck the system and you may incur their disapproval. If you venture off the curb, it makes others uncomfortable because they are then forced to look at their own resistance to change. 

With nearly seven decades of experience in tow, I beg you to shake off those shackles. Dance to the beat of your own drum. Start today. The problem is we think we have time. In six months, you will either have six months of progress or six months of excuses.  The choice is yours. 

Join me Sunday, April 17 at 7:00pm EST for this week's guided Fear vs. Love meditation. Subscribe to my channel and follow me at: https://www.heygo.com/the-footloose-muse

Love, 
Carol 

Know anyone that would benefit from our community of like-minded female creatives?  Invite them to join the Footloose Muse Facebook group

Be a Beginner Every Day

“Be willing to be a beginner every morning.” ~Meister Eckhart

When is the last time you surrendered to a new undertaking? Maybe you've always wanted to try your hand at painting or drawing or cooking or calligraphy or tarot card reading. Perhaps you'd love to learn classical dance or ballet or line dancing. Kudos to you if you've followed your heart's desire. You can stop reading.

If however, you've hesitated, been unwilling to be that beginner, let's step back and examine the self-limiting beliefs that might be holding you back, keeping your from exploring new topics, teachings, hobbies, passions, pursuits. Isn’t it ego that holds us hostage and prevents us from being vulnerable, unsure, unclear, unknowing? Don’t we all like to come to the table prepared, looking good, full of expertise, just a little bit superior to the next person? What’s it like to shed ego, to admit we have much to learn, to relinquish control of the outcome, to say, “I don’t know, but I’d like to learn. Can you teach me?”

What is your self-talk when the notion of learning something new, taking up a new hobby, changing jobs, comes up? Isn’t it fear? Fear of not hitting the mark? Fear of looking stupid? Fear of not being good enough? Fear of being too old (or too young)? 

Maybe you tell yourself starting at the beginning will simply take too long. I’ll never forget a conversation I had with an old friend a few years ago. She was lamenting the fact that he had to lose 50 pounds. I suggested a slow and steady method that worked for me. I remarked, “Very do-able! One pound a week.” She looked horrified, and remarked with great trepidation, “Oh my God, that’ll take a year!” To which I responded, “Well, yes, but that year is going to come no matter what. Wouldn’t you rather be a healthier, trimmer you at the end of that year?”

When's the last time you allowed yourself to feel deeply engaged in and committed to some new study, activity, class, course, series, something that excites you, fills you with unbridled enthusiasm?

Intrigued? (Maybe just a little?) Join me this Sunday night, April 10, at 7:00pm EST and I'll lead you on a Be Willing to Be a Beginner guided meditation journey. You'll have a chance to conjure up in your mind’s eye, something, a pursuit, a teaching, an interest, something that you would love to undertake, but have hung back on out of fear.

If not now, when?

See you Sunday night. Subscribe to my channel and register  at: https://www.heygo.com/the-footloose-muse

Love, 
Carol 

Know anyone that would benefit from our community of like-minded female creatives?  Invite them to join the Footloose Muse Facebook group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/thefootloosemuse

 

Leave Home

"Distance and difference are the secret tonic of creativity. When we get home, home is still the same. But something in our mind has been changed, and that changes everything." 

~Jonah Lehrer

I've left home. Twice. Once in 2014 for a month-long solo cross country trip to sell my Earth's School of Love inspirational greeting cards. Again in 2015 for a two-month solo cross country book tour to promote my book, Linger Longer: Lessons from a Contemplative Life. 

Of course, I brought myself home both times, and when I did, I looked the same, I talked and laughed the same, but if you looked into my eyes, you could not find the old me. What you saw instead was every cloud, star, wave, sun and moonbeam that held me tenderly. They filled me. They caused my heart to swell. My capacity for love expanded in ways I never knew possible or available. My ego took a backseat, and humility was forged, pure and simple, as I relied on the kindnesses of strangers to answer questions, maintain my vehicle, welcome me into their Airbnb homes, buy my work, and share history lessons I never would have gotten in a book.

I beckon you to leave home. You have enough money; I did it on a shoestring. You are capable of traveling without a partner; I did it on my own. You have time; maybe you can't get away for a month, so take yourself away for an overnight, a long weekend. Drive. Take the train. A bus. Fly. Pack light. 

I promise you that the woman that returns will be bolder, brighter and more at home in the world.

Now, go!

Come As You Are

 

In The Wisdom of No Escape and the Path of Loving-Kindness, Buddhist nun, Pema Chodron, tells us to, "Come as you are." I used to resist stepping out of my comfort zone unless I was sure I had it right, until I was confident that I would be a master at whatever new endeavor I was attempting. But what I've learned over the years is to just show up, to start wherever I am at that moment. The magic is in the moment, and in that moment, I can choose to be fully alive and present. Fear holds me back from experiencing all that this life has to offer. Fear of failure. Fear of imperfection. Fear that you won't like me if you find out how truly inept I am. Nowhere has that fear had a bigger hold on me than in my personal relationships. I never knew how to make friends. I was so sure you weren't going to like me that I went out of my way to make sure you didn't. Once I became willing to remove the chip on my shoulder, and practice being friendly, I gained a boatload of friends. If I hadn't been willing to bring my imperfect, often socially inept self to the table, I would have missed out completely on experiencing the joys of many wonderful friendships. If I'm waiting, busily preparing my mind, my body, and my skill set, then those golden opportunities to be present in the world as the imperfect person I am, pass by. Last year, a good friend of mine helped me develop my Instagram pages. In the process, she noticed my reluctance to commit to various suggested action steps. Speaking from experience, she encouraged me to "Just do it. Do something. You can always change it." In essence, she was telling me to just "Come as you are." Start somewhere. Take this blog, for example. I don't understand all the nuances of blogging, but the point is, today, I am willing to come to the page just as I am. Today, it's not about being perfect, it's about being present.  

Notice

Volumes have been written trumpeting the practical benefits of meditation, yet all too often I hear, "I can't do it. I can't quiet my mind. It doesn't work for me." Somewhere along the spiritual continuum, a lot of folks missed the point.

I don't practice to relax. I don't practice to quiet my mind. I don't practice to become a better meditator. I practice to notice. I practice to let go, without attachment, without judgement. If you're waiting for the perfect moment, the perfect mood, the perfect cushion, clothing, music, incense, CD, you are cheating yourself out of one of the most useful tools in our wellness arsenal. 

Try this. Find a spot to sit undisturbed for a few minutes---start slow. Get comfortable. Set your timer. Close your eyes. Breathe. When the siren outside screams past, notice (don't curse), the sound. When the cat jumps into your lap, notice the sensation. When your mind revisits the argument you had with your partner last night, notice the thought. Don't judge sounds, sensations, thoughts. Don't get mad at your mind for dragging you into the past, racing you into the future. Notice, then let go, detach. Stay. Breathe. Repeat, and then repeat the process again tomorrow, and the day after that.

You can't do this wrong. You can only not do it, and in not meditating, you are depriving yourself of learning to coexist peacefully with the world around you. Practically speaking, this means, the next time another driver cuts you off in traffic, notice, do not attach, do not react. Instead of railing against a co-worker's procrastination to complete a needed task, notice your resistance, your frustration, and in that moment of noticing, choose, without malice, without judgement, the higher thought. 

Notice. Simply notice.