Treasure

"The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek." ~Joseph Campbell

What frightens you? What thoughts keep you awake at night? If the earth is our schoolroom, and mastering love and banishing fear is the curriculum, what grade would you give yourself? 

Over the last decade, I have done the hard work on myself. I have excavated buried trauma and come to terms with my part in the painful memories. In short, I have become the best version of myself thus far, but make no mistake, I still have a cave to enter, explore, to make peace with. For me that cave represents financial insecurity, but why? I own my own mortgage-free home, drive a car without monthly payments, live debt-free, and have safe, long-term investments and holdings. Those family-of-origin tapes are difficult to silence, to mute. I was born into a lower middle-class Connecticut family. My father, a roofer all his life, went off to work every day, but at quitting time could be found throwing beers back at my uncle's bar across town. My mom often worked a factory night job to fill the gap left by my father's alcoholism. While we always had clean clothes and food on the table, I recall an ever-present sense of lack, an undulating fear. 

When I left home for a state college (financed by my own student loans because my parents failed to plan for my higher education), my head and heart were filled with a fierce determination to do better than my parents, and I did. I got great jobs, married, bought luxury property, and I often sent money and gifts home to my mom. When my marriage ended, I made the decision to navigate life solo, and I have remained single-by-choice. It's just me, and I am wholly responsible for my own financial health and well-being. I long ago rejected a 9-5 existence, choosing instead the life and path of a solopreneur. 

That cave of financial insecurity is an illusion. Financially, I have nothing to fear. It's when those demons come knocking in the middle of the night, whispering that I will run out of money before I run out of time on this planet, that my tender heart wants to seize. Instead of hiding, I can look those demons squarely in the eye, throw my head back, laugh, and say, "not today, fear!" 

Check out: https://www.realsimple.com/work-life/money/signs-of-financial-trauma

Gifted

 

Everyone is gifted, but some people never open their package. ~Wolfgang Riebe

My 90-year-old mother told me that I attended creative writing classes after school when I was a young girl. I have no recollection of such classes, instructions, or assignments. I do know that writing has always come second nature to me. Whether a term paper for school, a thesis for graduate school, a short story, a poem, or a marketing piece, I was in my element if wordsmithing was involved.

I became an English major in college because I liked to read and I could write, and I had no interest in nursing. Where I came from, those were the two career options most young women pursued. I was an art minor in college with a concentration in photography. I penned two books of informational nonfiction during the ten years I was not drinking alcohol (between 1989 and 1999), was a columnist for a national trade magazine for two years, earned a Master of Fine Arts degree, and did all kinds of creative things. The minute I picked up a drink in 2000, I ceased to write another word, and the camera got buried behind some cardboard boxes in a closet under the stairs. Once I got sober, it took five years to remember that I was an artist and had God-given talents.

One fall, I got to spend a month in Arizona in this blue chair with the light streaming in, writing, and crafting another book. I don't know many of you who are reading this today, but I will tell you one thing: I am not unique. You, too, have been given gifts, talents, and skills that the world needs. What are they? What's holding you back from following your heart's desire? Fear? Of what? Failure? That you're not good enough? Trust me when I tell you, you are brilliant. You are a beacon. How dare you not shine?

Check out: https://www.roamandgolightly.com/blog/we-are-all-creative

Begin. Now.

There is no beginning too small. ~Henry David Thoreau

In The Wisdom of No Escape and the Path of Loving-Kindness, Buddhist nun, Pema Chodron, tells us to, "Come as you are." Often, I resist stepping out of my comfort zone unless I can be sure I have it right, until I can be confident that I'll be a master at whatever new endeavor I am attempting. But I've learned in recovery to just show up and start wherever I am. The magic is in the moment, and in that moment, I can choose to be fully alive and present. Fear holds me back from experiencing all that this life has to offer. Fear of failure. Fear of imperfection. Fear that you won't like me if you find out how truly inept I am.

Nowhere has that fear had a bigger hold on me than in my personal relationships. I never knew how to make friends. I was so sure you weren't going to like me that I went out of my way to make sure you didn't. Once I became willing to remove the chip on my shoulder, and practice being friendly, I gained a boatload of friends. If I hadn't been willing to bring my imperfect, often socially immature self to the table, I would have missed out completely on experiencing the fellowship of the spirit.

If I'm waiting, busily preparing my mind, my body, and my skill set, then those golden opportunities to be present in the world as the imperfect person I am, pass by. Last year, a good friend of mine helped me develop my Instagram account. She noticed my reluctance to commit to various suggested action steps in the process. Speaking from experience, she encouraged me to "Just do it. Do something. You can always change it." Essentially, she told me to just "Come as you are." Start somewhere. Take this blog, for example. Upon launching it a year ago, I didn't understand all the nuances, but the point is, today, I am willing to come to the page just as I am. Today, it's not about being perfect, it's about being present.  

Check out “Nine Joys of Being Imperfect” at http://bit.ly/3zMPGTr

Good News

Tired Arguments From Congress After Rampage.

Israel in Turmoil Over Controversial Netanyahu Move.

Fear Pervades Trans Community Amid Focus on Nashville Shooter's Gender Identity.

These were the headlines I read when I signed on to receive my email on the last Friday in March. If those messages weren't enough to sink my tender, open heart, a pop-up warning appeared, uninvited, on my laptop screen.

Every 2 seconds someone new becomes a victim of identity theft. Don't be next.

Fear. Destruction. Chaos. Geez, Louise, the whole world has, indeed, gone mad. I have a split second to respond to the toxicity of today's headlines, and so do you. Be honest, do you devour the blow-by-blow details? Do you bristle at my implication? If you are giving extended attention to these headlines, you are participating in the darkness, the madness. News is a big industry; it can't exist without your participation.

I get it. Good people become victims of random violence, but do you really need to read about, and watch, another vehicle, in the same week, plow into innocent bystanders? Here's what I fervently believe. We invite, absorb, and become what we put our attention on, and every minute counts. Do not waste a single one of your life's precise moments focusing on negativity. Have you ever had a strand of hair land on an exposed layer of your skin? You can feel it, right? A thin, lightweight piece of hair. Imagine that. Imagine then what dark and negative thoughts can do to you at a cellular level. Food for thought. (Check out medical intuitive, Caroline Myss, if you don't believe me. https://www.myss.com/about-caroline-myss/) What images, messages, and thoughts do you want your body, your cells, to absorb?

Choose the newsmakers who are genuinely making a difference. GoodNewsNetwork.org shared these headlines this morning.

Americans Are Taking More Small Steps to Create Positive Societal Change.

New Brain Implant Device Could Restore Function in Paralyzed Limbs.

Researchers Develop Water Treatment that Zaps ‘Forever Chemicals’ for Good.

These are some of the people and issues worthy of making headlines, and the more you focus on them, the more of them you will see. Dig deeper. Your body and world will thank you.

Check out: https://bit.ly/3JXBFH4