Thursday, October 22, 2015

The Best is Yet to Come.

Tomorrow, Saturday, October 22, 2016, marks what would have, perhaps could have been, my 27th wedding anniversary, but instead, more than 10 years have passed since my divorce from the man that helped me birth two, and raise three, beautiful children. I will be forever grateful for all their lives and love. I am not the same 35-year-old woman who stood beside the perennial garden of a historic New England post-and-beam Cape, on a windy autumn afternoon, in a Laura Ashley tea-length dress, and promised to love, honor, and obey. I was sober, yes, but painfully unaware that putting the drink down would not suffice. For the first ten years of that marriage, I would not drink; I would not recover either, and untreated alcoholism would eventually lead to the decay and eventual collapse of that marriage. We were both fine people, just completely and utterly unaware that anything less than a psychic change would spell failure. When that 16-year marriage finally dissolved, I found myself at a crossroads and knew, intuitively, it was time to go, or grow. With school-age children at home, going was not an option, so I dug in and did the work on self, so vital to a lasting and meaningful recovery. Those three children are now young adults, chasing down lives of their own. I am blessed to have them in my life. If I've taught them anything, I hope it's been about forgiveness, acceptance and self-love. Until I could forgive myself, accept and remedy my spiritual bankruptcy, and eventually love myself, I could not love another. Today, I am blessed to love and be loved by many, and know that the best is yet to come.